the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
