Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
