she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
