brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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