I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?