in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
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We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
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You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.