I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
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She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
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Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro