She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I need moral support for this bender
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.