Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery