I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
