I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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