so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize