It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
