You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
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And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
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You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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