you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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