If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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