We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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