I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
