I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
