About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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