i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
