I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
