Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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