I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
