i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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