I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
