After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
