so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i need some magic done to my vagina
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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