just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
