Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
