is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
