saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
