There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
