cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
