He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
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He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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