he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
