He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
