This is not my ceiling
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
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I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
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I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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