Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize