I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
