i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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