so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
