Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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