Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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