You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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