I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
