You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
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Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
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He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.