so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
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I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.