Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit