shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
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it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.