I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
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My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits