physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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