I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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