4 words: hood of his car
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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