you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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