Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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