You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
