Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize