Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
