She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize