it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
