he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
