...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
