so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
